November 7th, 2009

D:            Good a.m.  I know it’s too early.  I just wanted to be the first to text u.  How r u?  Actually, feeling ko di ako nakatulog (Actually, I feel like I   haven’t sleep at all).  I’ve been thinking of you.  Alam mo yung feeling   na gusto kong samahan kita while d pa naayos yung mga dapat               ayusin (I felt like wanting to accompany you while you’re in distress).  I          want to be the one to comfort you….  That at the end of the day, alam kong somehow, ok ka na (I know, somehow  you feel fine).  I hope you     feel the love and care that go with this message.  I just realized that it    doesn’t need to be “us” to do and say all these things.  Luv u.  mwah. 

B.            HI D.  Just read your message.  Glad to wake up with your texts.               Kahit na insensitive ako, feel na feel ko d love a friend could ever wish      for.  (Eventhough I am insensitive, I could feel the love a friend could       ever wish for) And I count it a blessing that you’re there for me both               during sunny and rainy (or sometimes cyclonic) days.  I really hope                 that I can say more than thank you for all d love and care.  I’m just so      happy coz you’re accompanying me through what I am going through             and by shielding my vulnerabilities and helping me get away from            bigger troubles.  Feeling ko “tayo” in our past life (I feel like it was          “us” in our past life).  But “tayo” pa din naman (it’s still “us&rdquo in this    present life, only better, coz we have a special kind of friendship even real couples could ever ask for.  luv u too. Mwah.  Gud a.m

Our texts messages this morning were full of emotions... although I know that in the afternoon, he’s gonna meet his girlfriend.

But it’s something I have to accept.  He’s not mine.  We’re not couples, we’re special friends, we’re bestfriends.

It hurts so bad it consumes all of my being... all of me.  Just why did I let this happen?
And why him?  Why can't I let him go?

I don’t know.  All I know is I am happy just knowing he’s there for me.  I’m happy and contented being his “querida” or “number 2”.

I love him so much. I do. I love him.

And I can't talk these things out to anyone.

They always say that things happen for a reason.

I wish I know why this happened.